Computer Programming, Humour, Internet, Technology

The Ultimate Top 30 Chuck Norris “The Programmer” Jokes

1. When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it’s across the room.
2. All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.
3. Chuck Norris doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
4. Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.
5. Chuck Norris can’t test for equality because he has no equal.
6. Chuck Norris doesn’t need garbage collection because he doesn’t call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
7. Chuck Norris’s first program was kill -9.
8. Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.
9. All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.
10. MySpace actually isn’t your space, it’s Chuck’s (he just lets you use it).

Chuck Norris, the greatest computer programmer!

11. Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions…and have them return.
12. Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.
13. The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.
14. Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.
15. Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations…ever.
16. Chuck Norris doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him.
17. “It works on my machine” always holds true for Chuck Norris.
18. Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
19. Chuck Norris doesn’t do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
20. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
21. Chuck Norris’s beard can type 140 wpm.
22. Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.
23. Chuck Norris doesn’t bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
24. Chuck Norris’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
25. When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message “Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?”.
26. When a bug sees Chuck Norris, it flees screaming in terror, and then immediately self-destructs to avoid being roundhouse-kicked.
27. Chuck Norris can overflow your stack just by looking at it.
28. To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.
29. Malicious File Execution. Nuff said.
30. Chuck Norris doesn’t need sudo, he just types “Chuck Norris” before his commands.

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About Darc xeD

Sometimes its good to write a lil' story about your life, for it's about sharing the experience you have to the world.

Discussion

6 thoughts on “The Ultimate Top 30 Chuck Norris “The Programmer” Jokes

  1. ROFL

    Posted by Mohit | July 27, 2013, 2:49 AM
  2. Chuck Norris doesn’t need anti virus because the viruses are too scared of him

    Posted by Someone | October 24, 2012, 12:35 AM
  3. Contrary to popular belief 127.0.0.1 is not a loopback for your computer it is chuck norris’s ip hacks on this ip loop back because the packets are too scared to reach his computer

    Posted by Someone | October 24, 2012, 12:34 AM
  4. Just the last one is enough for me to like(and laugh :D)

    Posted by ekayrakli | March 19, 2012, 11:22 AM

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Pingback: World of Warcraft, με την έγκριση του Chuck Norris! « FunDay :) - April 4, 2012

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..and I Quote

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"Sometimes, it's good to write a lil' story about your life, for it's about sharing the experience you have to the world." - Frederick Bolastig
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